Cole VS Noel
by Rosas-Sampaguita-Luzviminda
Summary: When these two get cooking, what disasters await them?


**Gie-chan: Okay, this will probably not turn out so well...just saying. It just popped up like "pwoot" and demanded to be written. I asked my brother during breakfast which would pack a bigger punch, Noel's cooking or the Ultimate Jam. He said Ultimate Jam…**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters!**

* * *

 _ **Destiny's Bounty, beside Yang's Temple**_

All of the occupants in the ship, well, except for Cole, were worried this fine but cloudy night. Though, it would be fine if it wasn't Cole's turn to cook.

"Where's Zane?! Can't he just take over this night? Or at least get Cole to actually follow the recipe without adding anything 'special'?" Jay told Kai while they were in the control room.

"I know. Somehow, I could already tell that we'll be sick in bed for the next few days!" Kai exaggerated.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Cole was starting to prepare all the ingredients for his chili. In the last three years, he's only managed to advance to making burnt pancakes. Though, he did make decent drinks for everyone.

"Maybe I should add some seaweed too…" Cole thought out loud and continued cooking in the pot.

The lights then went out in the Bounty and turned back on again, but then, Cole's Chili disappeared.

"Okay, who's playing a prank?!" he said loud enough for everyone in the ship to hear.

* * *

Back in the control room, Kai found himself all alone.

"Jay?" he called out.

There wasn't a response.

"Jay? This isn't funny!" Kai said when Misako came in.

"Kai, have you seen Lloyd?" she asked.

"No. Even Jay suddenly vanished when the lights turned back on. What's happening?" Kai asked her.

"I'm not sure. But people are vanishing and we have to find them," she said and approached the intercom.

" _Everyone, meet up to the deck_ ," Misako said, her voice getting heard throughout the Bounty.

Both of them headed down the deck, but were to be only met up with Cole and no one else.

"Hey, where are the others?" he asked, looking around.

"I was afraid that there were more who vanished, and we have to find them," she said, with worry in her voice.

"Wait, the others have gone missing too? So it wasn't only my chili?" Cole said.

Kai sighed and muttered under his breath, "I wish it was only your chili."

"Hey," Cole snapped back and all the lights went off again. With the sky being covered by clouds, it was dark.

Then everything went darker.

* * *

 ** _Orient Town_**

In a restaurant, Ragna the Bloodedge and Taokaka were eating a delicious meal, with Tao starting to rack up quite another large bill.

"Tao, could you just maybe not blow up my cash?" Ragna asked Tao, who was still scarfing down lots of food, but wasn't really listening.

"What'd you *nomnom* say, Good Guy *omnomnom* Meow?" she continued eating and eating, when all the lights turned off.

Loud chatter filled the restaurant and one of the waitresses lit up a small candle then the lights turned on, so she put it out, but they went off again, so she lit it up…

But then the lights went back on…

Then off…

And on.

When they went back on again, some people disappeared, including Ragna, Tao, and a few others.

* * *

 _ **?**_

"Hey, hey, hey. Who turned off the lights?!"

"Jay? Is that you?" Jay turned around, it sounded like Zane, but he couldn't see anything except darkness.

"Zane? Where are you?" he asked. "Over here, brother, follow my voice."

Jay walked toward where Zane's voice was coming from and saw two pairs of eyes, one pair glowing a soft cyan and another red perfecty round pair.

Of course, he would freak out at the red ones.

"ZANE! There are red glowing eyes next to you!" he yelled.

"What glowing red eyes, meow?"

Zane, only just realizing the creature behind him, screamed in unison with Jay. Both of them fell back and bumped each other.

"Where are we?" a man's voice asked

"W-what's happening?!" a high pitched voice said.

"B-brother~! Is that you?" a creepy toned voice came in.

"Jin! Stop being creepy all of a sudde- hey!"

The lights went on and they were in some sort of auditorium.

Jay tried to adjust to the light that came in and saw there were four other people and a cat lady in the auditorium with them.

Tao, Makoto and Hibiki were just watching Ragna getting hugged by Jin where the former was very uncomfortable with.

"Okay, what's up with those two?" Jay asked.

Just then, a door opened to reveal Nya, Lloyd, Master Wu, Kai, and Misako.

"Guys!" Jay ran up to them with Zane, both relieved that everyone was fine.

"I am glad that you are all safe...but where is Cole?" Zane asked.

"We don't know. Last thing I remember, Misako and I were with Cole and the lights went out and we somehow ended up here," Kai replied.

"Hmm…" Zane pondered on what was happening. There were other people in here so they decided to ask them.

Ragna managed to push Jin away from him and stood up. Some doors opened and other people joined them.

Litchi, Carl, Ada, Bang, Torakaka, Kagura, Kokonoe, Tager, Platinum, Jubei, and Celica all entered through the doors.

"Does anybody have a clue on what's happening here, meow?" Torakaka asked.

"Nope, not a clue. But I ain't gonna be another butt monkey here!" he replied.

Zane walked up to Makoto, "excuse me ma'am, but do you have any idea on how we may have gotten here?"

"Sorry, mister, but as far as I can tell, someone brought us here," she replied, then realized she was talking to a silver man.

"You're a robot?!"

"I believe the right term is NINDROID!" Jay corrected.

The lights dimmed, but the stage lights were still on.

" _Everybody, please take a seat,"_ someone said through the speakers.

To Master Wu, it was a voice he hadn't heard in decades.

"Father?" he said, he was in disbelief.

"Woah, woah, woah. So, the person talking through the speakers, is your father? The one who made the land of Ninjago, made the Serpentine, created the Realm Crystal, fought the Overlord, the powerful First Spinjitzu Master?! What's he doing here?! I thought we already saw his remains in the tomb!" Jay exclaimed.

"Uhh, what?" Kagura asked, but then noticed Nya beside Jay. "Well, hello beautiful," he said.

"Back off!" Kai stood defensively in front of his sister with a death glare and Jay by his side, both ready to send Kagura into oblivion.

"Okay, okay, geez, protective much." he said.

"Sorry, but I'm already taken," Nya said.

"Please excuse him," Hibiki then pulled Kagura way from the group.

" _Yes, son. It is me."_ the First Spinjitzu Master replied.

"What is all of this?" Master Wu asked.

 _"I do not know myself, though this microphone appeared in the Departed Realm with a script_ ," he replied.

Everybody just stared at each other.

 _"Jay, you are to host...this cooking show_ ," he said.

"Wait, what?" Jay didn't get to process what was happening here when his ninja gi was replaced with his old suit and tie, with his hair getting fixed up.

Lloyd tried not to giggle at the memory of him catching Jay putting on make-up.

"Nice threads," Nya complemented.

Then some unseen force pushed Jay into the stage and a microphone poofed into his hand in an orange mist.

A gold coin was thrown at his head. "Who did that?" he asked, looked into the direction the coin came from.

Between the middle row of seats, Doubloon was holding a card big card saying 'Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am your host, [name]'

"I thought that timeline was erased!" he exclaimed. Doubloon just shrugged and had him say it.

"Fine, goo- oh wait," he turned the microphone on, " _good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am your host, Jay Walker,"_ Doubloon switched the card. " _Tonight, we will be seeing who has the worst cooking between Miss Noel and...Cole?!"_

Just then, Cole came falling from the ceiling and landed gracefully on the stage. "Good thing I'm a ninja," he said to himself.

Noel just came tumbling into the scene.

"Wh-what's happening here?" she asked.

Jay turned off the mic and told them about the predicament.

"But where are the ingredients?" Noel asked.

"And my chili?" Cole was unamused when his chili was also taken.

Suddenly, everything they needed poofed onto the stage.

"Hold on, I assume that is my apron," Zane said in the audience seat.

"Remember when Master Wu dumped chili on Cole's head to get both of you even?" Kai reminisced.

"Sadly, no."

"Oh…"

Jay, on the stage, turned the mic back on, " _L-let me introduce to you our panel of jadge- judges_."

"The first judge will be...Arakune," a black blob suddenly appeared on the judge's seat.

"Azu...Azu...Azu...eihahalgrheglrecht! I wa..lint...de...A...zure alchchchcblarghie!" he said and squiggled a bit...a lot.

" _Ahh! You are creepy! Even more than the Overlord...okay...uh, hehe, moving on. Our next judge is, aw, what?! The Overlord?! Oh wait, he's just in spirit form, he can't hurt me!"_ Jay said.

"Do you want me to destroy you?" the Overlord threatened.

 _"Um, no…"_

 _"Next up is...Yuuki Terumi._ " Jay said.

"I might as well," he said, in his ghost form, then leaned back on his chair.

"TERUMI! What are you doing here, you, you!" Ragna stood up from his seat and realized his words were more kid-friendlier than usual.

"You must calm yourself, young man," Master Wu told him, while sipping tea.

"This be quite entertaining," Rachel said.

"Rabbit! When did you get here?!" Ragna asked.

"Just now," she replied.

Back on the stage, they were about to begin. Jay was trying to read the card Doubloon was holding.

" _Both possess a burning passion for the culinary arts, but which of them will prevail?"_ Jay announced.

" _The Wheel of Fate is turning, engage!_ " he said then Noel and Cole started to prepare their ingredients.

Cole had a very determined face, focused on cooking and swiftly putting together another batch of chili as if he were a professional chef...but putting in some questionable ingredients…

Noel, however, was just humming and throwing random things into the mix and black fumes with an eerie purple glow coming from the pot.

"This...will end so badly…" Makoto said.

"I know. The first time I tried Cole's chili, I got sick for four days!" Lloyd said, who was seating in front of Makoto.

"Your friend's cooking seems to be manageable, but Noel's...not so much…" she replied.

"Really?" he was surprised.

"Yup. It was so infamous, the teachers had to use it as a punishment. It also knocked out three quarters of the Military Academy's students."

Now Lloyd shuddered at the thought of it.

"Would you like some tea?" Master Wu offered to Makoto.

"Yes, thank you very much," she replied and Master Wu handed her a cup.

"I would also like to drink tea. Apparently, I was transported here without it. Do you have any black tea at hand?" she said.

"Of course, young one," he said and gave her a cup.

Rachel looked at the traditional cup being handed to her. "Do you not have any ceramic cups?"

Master Wu then handed to her another teacup colored gold on the lip and handle of the cup.

"Thank you very much," she said, finally accepting the tea.

"How did he do that?" Makoto was bewildered at how Master Wu managed to carry those things without them being seen.

"My uncle really likes tea a lot. He's always drinking a cup," Lloyd said, but didn't really give much of an explanation.

"A sensei never tells."

* * *

 ** _Five Hours Later_**

"It's done~" Noel said. The dish was a mix of horrifying and disgusting with a dash of sending shivers down your spine.

"I'm also done with my masterpiece," Cole showed his latest dish, which looked surprisingly normal and well made...but it smelled like nightmares...

Everyone gulped and the judges went onto the stage to taste the killer dishes.

Arakune squirmed towards Cole's counter and ate (more like swallowed in one swoop) one of the chili set on a plate, including the plate and spoon. He just stayed there, frozen.

...Then ricocheted all over the place like a rocket on the loose while yelling.

"Alighwuiliesdgfgfhjilililihieiuechuaheuiei!"

Then he headed toward Cole.

"Cole, watch out!" Jay shouted.

He immediately jumped out of the way, but Arakune bounced off the floor and headed toward Cole, so he just turned into a ghost and let him pass through.

"That guy just turned into a ghost, a GHOST!" Ragna screamed like a girl.

"Oh stop it, will you?" Rachel said.

The Overlord approached Noel's first. "I sense a dark energy in this dish, young one," he said.

"Umm," Noel was uncomfortable with the Overlord, who was a purple glowing ball floating above the plate.

Then, the Overlord somehow managed to eat it.

"My powers are growing stronger! Ahahaha!" he cackled, but the First Spinjitzu Master said through the speakers, _"It may be growing stronger, Overlord, but the world you are currently in is not a realm, but rather, another universe. It is only a figment of your imagination."_

The Ninja sighed in relief at the First Spinjitzu Master's words. The Overlord moved on to Cole's cooking. Nothing special really happened.

Then Yuuki Terumi approached, he eyed the chili with his one eye. He took the spoon, scooped up a fair amount of chili and ate it.

"Hmm...not bad, this is pretty delicious," he commented.

"Yes!" Cole said and fist pumped.

As he was nearing Noel, she became hostile. "Terumi, stand back."

"Woah, easy there, miss Vermillion. Like what that dead guy said, nothing's permanent in here, but just a figment of our imagination. I just can't wait to taste your cooking," he said.

"O-okay," she said, cautiously sliding the plate to Terumi.

He took a bite.

And just stood there…

"This is your best dish yet!" he exclaimed and finished the whole plate.

"My, my, my! Hmhhmm! Extraordinary!" he complimented.

The Overlord and Yuuki Terumi went back to their respective seats, while Arakune was still bouncing about.

Kai dodged the incoming blob.

"What did he put in there this time?" he wondered.

Then, after Arakune hit one of the empty seats, he was bounced into Jin's direction and smacked him with bugs.

"What in the world?!" he yelled then froze Arakune solid.

Nobody seemed to notice Jin freezing Arakune...but he escaped anyway because the ice poofed away.

Arakune went to the judge's seat and ate a pen.

Jay was kicked into the stage with a giant boot and face-planted on the floor. He stood up and a card poofs into his hand with the winner's name inside. Doubloon held up another card.

" _It is now decided, the winner in the cook-off is…"_

 _"Noel Vermillion_ " he announced.

"So there is someone who has worse cooking than Cole," Jay said to himself.

Cole approached Noel and held up his hand, "it was a pleasure to face you miss. Although, this was a pretty strange situation."

They shaked hands, "i-it was, mister," she said, rather overwhelmed at how muscular Cole was.

"Okay, now that we're done, let's all dig in!" Cole announced, which made all the Ninja gasp with horror.

Jay approached the two deadly chefs, "about that Cole, uh, we're, um, already full, hehe," he lied.

"Oh really?" Cole saw right through the lie and was even backed up when Jay's stomach rumbled. "You're just as bad at lying as Lloyd is," he said.

Jay just sighed in defeat.

But when all hope seemed lost, Dareth walked up to Jay and whispered, "don't worry, Zane and two other people, I think Ragna and Hibby, maybe, were called to make dinner for everyone."

Just then, a colossal green creature burst into the wall, with tentacles grabbing onto anything in its reach.

"The Preeminent?! I thought I drowned her in the Endless Sea!" Nya was shocked.

"Yeah, but I'm back, sister, and I need some cursed souls in here!" the Preeminent spoke.

"SHE CAN TALK!?" all the Ninja, except Zane, said in unison.

"Yup, and and I'll start with this ghost," she said then grabbed Terumi and swallowed him…

Then, Noel's pot suddenly turned into a missile and headed into the Preeminent's mouth and turned the Queen of the Cursed into a puff of green smoke.

"That was...strange…" Sena stated.

Then all the lights went off and everyone was transported back into their respective worlds where they woke up with take-out-from-the-strange-place-feast beside them.

Some say that Noel's cooking will be used as weapons in the future...

 **The End!**

 **Gie-chan: Well...that was still weird. Just think of as a weird gag reel or something...**

 **Eh…**

 **Hey, did anyone catch the stuff I put in there? Like maybe gold doubloons? (did I spell that right?)**

 **I hope this was okay, if not, that's okay too.**

 **Anyway, have Merry Christmas!**


End file.
